Give space to your child’s fears

January 10, 2022

Parents are always grappling with child psychology, something that Moms feel, Dads know squat about! Then there is the “reared inside me for 9 months” argument, which is tough to knock out in any argument! Yes, It’s like entering a ring with an arm tied around the back, all combat rules are her’s, even the referee oddly looks like your wife! And, as you are in the middle of getting clobbered, the ring of this combat, itself changes to another previous ring where she suddenly has bigger, familiar punches and moves, only for you to be dazed enough to realize you’ve already been knocked out by these arguments many times before!So, I faced this situation, a while back when the little one had a bit of an accident in the park! Usually, Dads fancy the role of being commando trainers, and with me, she used to go up one of those reverse U shaped ladders or monkey climbers. You suddenly have flashes of Nana Patekar of Prahaar, and your kid becomes the young recruit, and you do manage to get her to the top of those ladders. So she gradually gains confidence and climbs up, comfortably. One time she went to Park with her Mom, and managed to scrape side of her eye, the red fluid which sets off most Moms like Captain Marvel with powers mostly to scorch Dads!This is followed by a panic reaction, my kid is never going up that contraption again, the kid herself is possessed with fear! This is a familiar situation for many parents, the source of fear can be different, a scary movie scene or mostly something they hear from friends. When it comes to handling fears, the DON’TS outweigh the DO’s, for example getting annoyed or reacting on their fears, giving too much importance on explanation, or even using the word “scared” and telling them there isn’t anything to be “scared” of! All these are big DON’TS for the simple reason that these don’t calm the turbulent mind.Sometimes, what works after you accept and acknowledge their feelings, with a calm demeanor, is to lighten the context with fun! “But you know, the scary looking girl you saw, and what you thought was blood was actually lipstick! And maybe get a lipstick, draw on your face, have a laugh about it! Or tell that the scene had 10 people on set, light man, somebody operating the Fan on the scary character. Maybe show a video of how such movies are made. Key is to first accept their feelings, then find ways to lighten the mood around it and substitute the feeling of fear with some light emotions. This also works with anxiety and fear around exams, where a step-at-a-time approach and disassociating with results is the key, watch this song rhyme with your child.And what does a good Man do, fearful of his wife, and also a good Dad, to weed out the fear of the park ladder climber? Of course, he sneaks out with the kid when her Mom is not around, and encourage her to climb up again, a mellow Nana Patekar style. That’s all in this blog of Gottobekidding, now let me find out a blog on how to drive away the fear of wife! Well, Now you really got to be kidding!Find more of beautiful, original song rhymes on Valuez App available for free download on Android devices at – Dad view blog by Harsh Roy for Valuez