Remember when you joined a new job, or changed department and had to learn tricks of the trade fast? Or when first learning to ride a cycle? or driving? Lifestyle adjustments with a new marriage? Most changes, and steep learning curves are linked with raised stress. Anxiety, fear, excitement are all feelings linked with change. As adults we strive for relief, relative stability, a balance! Where we can’t achieve that for a long period of time, it starts to take a toll on health, relationships, our sense of self worth, purpose, everything!Now imagine with our kids, who are meant to absorb new skills, as sponge! If we continuously keep them in a state where they learn subjects, table etiquettes, social behaviors, Maths, language, coding, swimming, music, right way to sit, right way to talk, are they not in a stressed condition always? Our urge to turn kids to “whizkids” and race them to the next “enrichment” activity may be coming at a cost we don’t realize. Kids, by nature, find thrill in stepping out of their comfort zones, but it’s for us to ensure that we keep them in between “comfort” and “stress” zones, a territory referred to by researchers as the “stretch” zone. Here, the child is learning at his/her own pace, enjoying what they are doing, and we as parents are for most part, “letting them be!”Yes! They will keep getting into stress and quick results or performance zones many a time every day, and should never be fearful of that. But we need to watch for signs which manifest in behavior, and bring them into comfort and fun “stretch” zones every time, when we can.This is where the role of Dads, and their “House clown” avatar comes handy! Remember Jim Carrey’s “Claw” from Liar! Liar!? Indian Dads are more likely to be a pony on all 4s, back-itching experts, a tickling or wrestling monster, all with loud Alif Laila style guffaws, or just transform into a human version of any amusement park slide! One 15 minute physical clown act with your kiddo, may have higher health benefits than planks,zumba,tabata, burpees, lunges put together!Jim Carrey compensated for his compulsive lying, and perils of the job with his humor act or just being a cool buddy, which made his Son love him, where his wife couldn’t stand him! Moms are somewhat hard-wired to think that “Cool” moms may not be the best, “better Safe than Sorry” is a common motto! The repetitive care behavior for a life, for 9 months, combined with genes, also conditions their mind for the rest of their lives to be over-protective!I try to find excuses or premises to strike a conversation with my little one, and just look into her eyes, and encourage her to formulate her thoughts, and complete her sentences. Google doesn’t have all the answers, specially linked with parenting, it doesn’t even tell that the synonym of the noun “Parent” is an adjective, “Imperfect”! Do try out Valuez App for free at https://bit.ly/2YVKD1C on Android to give kids a clean, guilt free time and lots of interesting conversation enablers!- Dad view blog by Harsh Roy for Valuez
January 10, 2022
